Plasterize

The signs of the Zodiac... one for each month of the year. If you were born in late August, you're destined to die a virgin. If you were born in early March, you absolutely love to eat fish. Or not. Indeed, how can merely the month of your escape from that wretched woman's womb describe so much about you? Few people know that the positions of the stars in the hundreds of alternate universes that surround our planet all play a huge role in describing people's personalities. Even fewer know that a special set of questions can determine the exact position of every last one of these stars at the very nanosecond of your birth. So what sign are you really? Take our quiz to find out.